In the News

I see in the news that a freshman U.S. Congressman from Florida got caught buying cocaine in Washington, D.C. Being new to Congress, he didn't know he was supposed to send a staffer to do that for him. That way, he could not only deny knowledge of the activity but he could put the onus on the staffer by telling police he always suspected that staffer of being a doper.

Congressman to cop: "He has a shifty look. I never trusted him. But I try to give everyone a chance, because that’s the kind of person I am."
Staffer: “Say what?!”
Cop to staffer: “You’re going down, dirt-bag!”

Although getting caught buying or using drugs may not hurt one’s political career, it’s still frowned upon in high places.

There’s a lot of stuff in the news that I really don’t want to hear about, but the news media just won’t let go of certain stories. Stuff I really don’t want to hear about includes:

• George Zimmerman’s latest brush with the law.
• Kanye West
• Kim Kardashian.
• Kanye and Kim having sex in a music video.
• Anyone who uses a single letter of the alphabet for their last name.
• Miley Cyrus’s latest publicity stunt.
• Twerking, whatever that is.
• Lady Gaga, no. But Stephanie Germanotta, maybe.

Ah well, it’s a long list. I’ll stop here.