Monday, February 28, 2011

March Comes In

“If March comes in like a lion, it will go out like a lamb.”

That’s how the old weather saying goes. (Coincidentally, March Comes In Like a Lion is also is an ongoing manga series by Chica Umino, best known for Honey and Clover. But that’s another subject.)

At the end of February there have been a lot of windy days here. My house has lost shingles. The wind has roared as March approaches. Today, the last day of February, the temperature in central Virginia was almost 80° F. Tomorrow the low will be 28° F. Roller-coaster.

02282011

Again today, the wind is up and tornado alerts are in place. And thunderstorms with heavy rain are approaching. It looks like I’m about to get clobbered (radar map below).

02282011R

Guess where I’m located on the map above … just below that big blob of green, and it’s moving directly toward me. Ay Chihuahua! The beginning of March is definitely lion-ish.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

February Blackbirds

I looked out my window and my yard was filled with blackbirds. The bungalow across the street likewise had its yard filled with birds.

blackbirds

They’re very skittish. I was lucky to get one photo shot through the window. When I moved to another window for a better angle, they saw my movement and took flight. They landed back in the yard a few minutes later, but as I approached a window (slowly) they again spotted me and again took flight. What you see in the photo is just a fraction of the flock. They looked like fat, well-fed birds. Small wonder that my yard seems only able to grow crabgrass, clover, and chickweed. By spring, all the grass seed has been eaten.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Royal Wedding

Did you receive your invitation to the Prince William – Kate Middleton wedding? Mine arrived in the mail yesterday. In addition to the invitation there was a little RSVP card and a small envelope for returning the card. My invitation looked like this:

invitation

In the bottom right corner there is this notation:

Dress: Uniform, Morning Coat, or Lounge Suit.

Unfortunately, I don’t own a uniform, I look ridiculous in a morning coat, and it has been years since I’ve been able to fit into my lounge suit. Do you think they would let me in wearing jeans? No? Not even if I wear True Religion jeans? Okay, I’ll just RSVP that I won’t be there. If you watch the wedding on TV and you see female guests with tears in their eyes – don’t blame me, blame the dress code.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Hole Thing

Once upon a time, there was one phone company in the U.S. It’s name was AT&T, which stood for American Telephone and Telegraph. Telegraph! You’ve seen films about the Old West: the telegraph operator going tap-tap-tap, tap-tap, tap tap on a telegraph key. That tells you how long AT&T has been around.

AT&T’s manufacturing arm was a company called Western Electric. If Western Electric had fingers they would have been in a lot of pies. One thing the company did was make telephones and telephone switching equipment for AT&T. Therefore, as you should be able to deduce, Western Electric made all the telephones used in the U.S. They made all the switching equipment. They didn’t buy parts to make equipment; they made the parts. They manufactured telephone cable – both the kind that hangs on telephone poles and the kind that lies on the bottom of the ocean connecting continents. They made transistors and integrated circuits. They made sound equipment for Hollywood movies. They made missile guidance systems. That’s where I worked for them: in their Defense Activities Division, or D-A-D as it was usually called. I was a young engineer with a new degree in electrical engineering, and all the engineers in my department were older than me; some were nearing retirement.

One day I was talking with one of the senior engineers. He wanted to give me career advice. He told me that the position I should aim for was senior staff engineer, which was the highest level an engineer could hope to achieve in the company. Then he told me about a senior staff engineer he knew.

Back in the day, telephones had dials: you’d stick your finger in a hole in the dial and spin it around. When you removed your finger from the dial, a spring returned the dial to its starting position, and as it did, the number you dialed went out over the phone line as a string of electrical pulses. What I was told was that there was a senior staff engineer whose job was to control the design of that hole. He specified its exact size and shape. It amazed me that a senior staff engineer would be in charge of the shape of a hole. But somebody had to be.

Years later, I worked for a tiny mobile robot company. We had two electrical engineers. One was the president of the company. The other was me. The president performed administrative tasks, but also a lot of technical tasks. He got involved with trouble-shooting equipment at customer sites and sometimes on the factory floor. He helped in marketing, in working with the government, in solving technical issues, in concept design and sometimes in nuts-and-bolts design. He worked with the money side of the business: getting investors, negotiating lines of credit, and so on. When it came to the electronics, that was my job. The president was more experienced with analog design than I, so sometimes he got involved with a tricky analog circuit, but usually he just explained what he wanted and I would go to my computer-aided design (CAD) system and enter a schematic and then lay out the printed circuit board (PCB). CAD was a great idea. Before CAD, our PCBs were laid out on Mylar sheets using drafting tape and an X-Acto knife. Those were the days! Let’s not go back to them.

My PCBs began with a schematic. A schematic is a symbolic representation of what you are going to make. On a schematic, real parts are represented by symbols, and they are connected by lines. The symbols and lines on a schematic are translated into a PCB with components connected by copper lines called traces. Here’s an example of what a printed circuit board looked like in my CAD system. This board has multiple layers which are connected at various points. It measures 4.4 x 12.95 inches (11.176 x 32.893 centimeters).

Printed Circuit Board

Let’s zoom in a bit. Here is the top left corner of the board.

Section of PCB

Let’s zoom in a bit more (below). The CAD program uses layers which can be turned on and off. Here’s what you are looking at: horizontal copper traces on the component side (top of the board) are red. Vertical copper traces on the solder side (bottom of the board) are cyan. The silk-screen layer is the pukey yellow-green color, don’t ask me to name it. Round, dark-blue circles are holes where components are inserted into the board.

Enlarged view of PCB section

Let’s zoom in one last time (below). There are nine layers in this CAD drawing. You are looking at (and through) 6 layers: silk screen, component side copper, internal power plane, internal ground plane, solder side copper, and solder mask. Most importantly, you’re looking at two components and their copper connections. One component, the rectangle, is an integrated circuit with 14 pins. It’s designated U25. The other component, C41, is a small capacitor with 2 pins. The square copper pad denotes pin 1 on the integrated circuit. Directly above the square pad is a round pad with a yellow “X” on it. The component pin that fits that hole will connect to an inner power plane layer. The “X” is where copper connects the pin to the internal plane; it’s called a “thermal-relief” pad. The slightly-smaller dark blue holes are called vias, and their purpose is to carry a circuit from one layer of the board to another layer.

Enlarged view of PCB section

If this seems complicated, believe me when I say I’ve barely scratched the surface.

Electronic design wasn’t my only job at that small company. At times I was required to travel to a symposium to give a presentation. When our Windows programmer left the company, the president took over his programming tasks, while I took over the tasks of keeping the computers working, keeping the network running, and keeping files on the server and workstations backed up. I created and maintained the company’s website as well as an internal website (called an intranet) for engineering documents. Electronics problems on the factory floor often required my attention as trouble-shooter. For a long time I was also Buyer for all the electronic components, and we used hundreds of different parts from scores of suppliers. There was documentation to be created and maintained: assembly instructions with drawings, engineering change notices, user manuals, and so on. Sometimes I coded assembly language for an on-board microprocessor – which might be a simple microcontroller, or a complex multiprotocol communications processor, or a programmable logic array. That is how it is when you’re an engineer at a tiny company. Everyone wears a lot of hats. It keeps things interesting.

Although it was a higher-paying job, I was really okay with not being in charge of the hole in the telephone dial.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Winter Photos

I hadn’t been to the city’s original small boat ramp in years, so I drove there to see how it looked now. Had it changed like the rest of the city? Part of the ramp area is closed off now, and it seemed tiny. There was no activity … not surprising in cold weather.  The nearby park was empty but for a few old men sitting in, or standing beside, their pickup trucks. They looked at me suspiciously as I drove past.

I wish I’d had my camera yesterday when I drove to the Walmart store. A flock of Canada geese lined both sides of the main entrance; dozens of geese stood pecking at the ground, eating the grass around the entrance. Those birds were big. A flock of Canada geese brought down the “miracle on the Hudson” plane. I thought about taking a cell phone photo, but my phone camera can’t zoom. They would have been itty-bitty birds in the photo. I wonder how long they’re going to be in town. Probably just long enough to rest their wings and fill their gizzards.

DSCF1504

 

DSCF1505

DSCF1516

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Sia

At 3 AM there’s not much to do except watch infomercials or listen to music. I can’t believe I’ve never posted a link to Sia’s beautiful and soulful love song, Breathe Me. How many times have I heard that song in a TV show! HBO’s Six Feet Under played it at the end of the series finale, as Claire Fisher drove down the highway to meet her future, and as the show looked ahead to see the future of each character. What a great way to end a TV series! (Speaking of Six Feet Under, over 22,000 IMDb voters have rated it 9.2 out of 10. That’s close to perfect.) The images in this video (embedded below) are not of Sia; they’re of Fiona Apple. I think Fiona has a waif-like vulnerability that fits well with this song. If you want to see Sia, watch the official video (after a short commercial). Frankly, I’ve never liked the official video. I’ve never even been able to watch the entire video. It’s seems frantic, as though it might have been conceived and directed by someone on meth. All the little Polaroids flying off-screen are just too distracting and make me feel disconnected from the artist. Another reason to watch the Sia/Fiona version: on-screen lyrics. And finally, I’ll mention this: someone put clips of Britney Spears into a video with Sia’s music on the sound track. I’m not a Britney fan but I think the clips work well with the words and tone of the music. If you are a Britney fan, you’ll like this video.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Someone Explain This

I’m taking the weekend off. Next post: Sunday night. Meanwhile, can someone explain this? Inquiring minds want to know.

someoneexplainthis

Door Girl

I went to the store for groceries this morning. I got what I wanted and headed to the checkout lanes. Three checkout girls were in a group discussing something. I overheard one girl say something about “girls were letting it all hang out.” One of the girls peeled away from the group and offered to check out my purchases. Her name tag read “Megan.” She looked young, but she had to be at least 18; she was at work instead of at school. She had long, brunette hair with a lot of curls and waves. I started talking with her.

“Girls were letting it all hang out? Where was that?” I asked.

“We were talking about my other job,” Megan said. “It’s at a strip club.”

“Are you a stripper?” I asked.

“Not yet,” she said.

“Working your way up to stripper?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“What do you do there?”

“I’m a door girl.”

One of the checkout girls asked her about the pay. It turns out a door girl makes fifty bucks a night plus tips.

“Do you get a cut of everyone’s tips?” I asked.

“Not unless I have to watch the lap dances.” Megan replied.

“Is this place you work in Richmond?” I asked.

“Yeah. Do you go to the strip clubs in Richmond?”

“No,” I answered. “I’ve been to a few elsewhere. San Francisco, Denver, L.A. But not here.” And I could have added: and not in a very long time.

For me, going to a strip club was something to do when my employer sent me across the country to a “big city”, especially if there were three or four guys traveling together. We would work a normal eight-hour shift and then … what? Go to a restaurant, go back to the hotel, watch a little TV, get bored … and go out on the town. And where do three or four males go when they’re in a new city and want to “go somewhere fun”? Hint: not to the museum.

I gave Megan a final glance and headed out the door. She was cute, but it seemed to me she was not quite stripper material. Except for the hair. The hair was excellent. But the rest of Megan was more, well … door girl. But don’t read that as a putdown of Megan. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not looking like a stripper.

Monday, February 7, 2011

SB XLV

How was it? So-so. Watched half of it. I mainly wanted to see the always over-the-top SB halftime show. This year Usher and Slash joined with the Black-Eyed Peas, or as I call them: Fergie and the guys.

Let me just say I’m not a fan of musicians wearing top hats – especially when said hat is covered with rhinestones, lit LEDs, or other kinds of sparklies. And dressing head to toe in white just makes some of us wonder if the Good Humor man has wandered onto the stage.

What’s up with singers and Autotune? Seriously. Was that an accident? Did we learn nothing from Milli Vanilli and Ashlee Simpson? Or has faking it become so widespread that it’s accepted? At least Fergie didn’t seem to be using it.

Thanks to technology, a good sound man can make a crappy band sound good, and a bad sound man can make a good band sound crappy. Give me a good sound man and I can fake it with the best of ‘em. Talent? That’s so old-school.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Super Sunday

It’s super bowl Sunday. If you’ve been good, the super bowl bunny will leave a present for you under your super bowl tree. No, that’s … uh, let me start over.

It’s super bowl Sunday. If you’ve been good, the super bowl fairy will leave a surprise for you under your pillow. Wait. That’s not … uh, let’s try this again.

It’s super bowl Sunday. You haven’t been good and you damn well know it. You get nothing. But guys: take your wife or girlfriend to a sports bar and buy her beer and nachos. I mean, buy yourself beer and nachos. Some bars will do a two-fer; buy one order of nachos for yourself and get a free order of nachos for your lady. In the restaurant trade they’re called “bonus nachos.” If you go to a Mexican restaurant today, impress the waiter by saying “¡Hombre! ¡Bonus nachos para mi amigo!”

Sorry … that was a long trip to get to an inside joke, but I had to do it.

Random Quotes

I awoke at 2:45 AM. I was hungry, and maybe hunger woke me. I’m not surprised to be awake so early. It happens frequently.

I opened the fridge door and removed a bowl of leftovers: ground beef cooked with diced red and green Bell peppers and onion. I scrambled two eggs in the microwave (which makes them crumbly) and mixed the egg into the leftovers. Awesome.

It’s still dark outside.

I’m going to show you some random quotes I’ve acquired as years go by. They come from various sources: books, plays, television. Sometimes I’ll read or hear something that touches a chord inside me, and I make a note of it. Therefore, these quotes may mean nothing to you. They say something about me, but I can’t tell you what it is. Sometimes a quote will only speak to me at 3 AM. Sometimes a quote is like a koan and what it says is ineffable. At other times, a quote is just a quote.

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow ... empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.”
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (episode: Passion; writer: Ty King)

In the book that is my memory, on the first page of that chapter that is the day I met you, appear the words ‘Here begins a new life.’”
— Dante, La Vita Nuova

I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”
— T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

In the light universe, I have been darkness. Perhaps in the dark zone, I will be light.”
— Kai, Lexx 1.0

Every time I pull up a wildflower, I find it connected to the Universe.”
— John Muir

The universe begins to look more like a great thought than a great machine.”
— Sir James Jeans

You taught me, baby, how the few who win, acquire what their hearts' desire. It ain't practice, it ain't skill. They'll help, but not as much as wanting will.”
— from the Broadway musical Chess (from the song No Contest; lyricist:Tim Rice.)

After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.”
— Spock, Star Trek (Amok Time)

Old age is always wakeful; as if, the longer linked with life, the less man has to do with aught that looks like death.”
— Herman Melville

… nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed.”
— Herman Melville

Friday, February 4, 2011

mcLauncher

I haven’t added to my blog in a couple of days because my time has been spent on developing a new software application. Now it’s finished and uploaded to my website, and the website has a new page explaining it, so I have time to get back to blogging.

My computer runs Windows Vista which, despite all the bad press, I like. Windows Vista also contains Windows Media Center, which I really like. If you’ve never used Media Center, it’s like Tivo: it gets a program guide from the Internet, and you can program it to record a show or a series. You can pause “live” TV, or “rewind” a live TV show. It does other things, but it has one shortcoming.

My computer sits between my computer desk and my TV. The computer video card has two outputs. One output connects to my desktop monitor, and the other output connects to my TV. I also have three sound outputs: one output drives speakers sitting on my desk and the other output I use is the HDMI output, which is a cable going from the video card to the TV. (HDMI carries video and sound in the same cable).

When I start the Media Center, it displays on my TV auto-magically. However, it doesn’t switch the sound to the TV, so the sound is still coming from my computer desktop speakers. Therefore, before I start Media Center I have to open the Control Panel’s sound applet and manually change the default output device to HDMI. Then when I close Media Center, I have to change the default output device back to the speakers. If I forget to change the default sound device, I have to exit the Media Center, change the default sound device, then start the Media Center again.

It’s just a small hassle, but it got annoying. So I searched the Internet for a freeware program that would switch the sound automatically and then start the Media Center. Not finding what I wanted, I wrote a small application and called it mcLauncher (Media Center Launcher). It works so well that I spent another day adding a “configuration” window so that other people can use it on their computers. Like all my software, it’s free. Free, that is, until my evil twin Skippy decides you have to pay for it.

My program was written for Vista. I don’t know if Windows 7 has the same annoying issue with the Media Center sound output, but I think mcLauncher will run on Windows 7. Anyone who uses it can leave a comment here if they like it, or if they don’t like it, or if it doesn’t work on their computer for some reason. It works fine for me, and I offer it with no guarantees. The mcLauncher download page can be found here.

And for you programming geeks: it’s not written in VB or C or C# or C++ or Java. It’s written in a cool little scripting language called AutoIt. After I got the script working, I compiled the script into an executable. AutoIt can be found here.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Lunch at the Bees

I had lunch today at “the Bees”. Yeah, you know who you are. What a disappointing experience. On the one hand, my meal – once I got it – was very good.  Everything was cooked perfectly. On the other hand, when I first sat at the bar, the bar computer terminal was down and I couldn’t place my order. I finally asked the bartender, “Can’t you go in back and ask someone to fix it?” She went to the kitchen entrance and hollered at someone, and in a while someone came to the bar and got the computer going and I was able to order lunch. The bartender was grumpy, not one smile while I was there. She acted like waiting on me was a burden. The hostess dragged herself around the store like she had a two hundred pound ball chained to her waist. She looked unhappy and fussed about something to anyone who crossed her path. I waited in silence for my meal, which eventually arrived. After delivering my meal, the bartender disappeared. I ate my meal and then waited 15 minutes before getting up and asking someone to give me my check and take my payment. The store was so depressing that I actually felt my mood lift when I walked out. Hmmm … I think maybe I just figured out why I was the only customer at the bar the entire time I was there.

Storm

Oh, in case you’re wondering how we’re doing weather-wise here in central VA, with the huge 2,000 mile-long snow and ice storm whizzing past us … well, here’s our 02022011current weather situation.

Like it says: mostly cloudy (the sun comes and goes) and 68° F at 10 AM. It’s supposed to hit 70° today. It won’t last, but it’s a nice respite from the frigid weather we’ve had this winter. It’s time to go outside without a coat, and I think I’ll do that. So later, dudes and dudettes.

New Day

What a night: I slept all the way through it. I wonder why. That is so uncharacteristic of me. I’m at my computer again. My music player is still onscreen, and when I click “Play” it resumes the song I was listening to last night as I wrote yesterday’s blog entry: Eliza Lumley’s cover of Radiohead’s Black Star.

It’s a lovely song but, I think, a song better played late at night. This is morning. Let’s find a “wake me up and kick my butt into gear” song. My go-to gal for that kind of music is Anouk. I’ve been a fan of Anouk for years. Well, I like a lot of artists, but Anouk and her music always stand out. Here she is performing Nobody’s Wife live at a daytime concert. This song will get you moving.

My Day

My day began at 10:30 PM yesterday, when I went to bed. After an hour in bed and still wide awake, I get out of bed and go to my kitchen. I pour a shot of brandy and retire to my living room and sip it in silent darkness. When I finish I pour another. And another. After five shots, I return to bed. It is 12:30 AM and I promptly go to sleep. I awaken at 5 AM. By 5:30 AM I know I am not going back to sleep. I get out of bed and go to my computer and chat for a while with a cyber-friend. At 7 AM I’m hungry and so I prepare breakfast: 2 eggs and 2 sausage patties. At 9:30 AM I am feeling tired, and I decide to lie on the sofa and take a 30 minute nap. I lie down on my left side and close my eyes.

I awaken. I am still lying on my left side. I have a feeling I have slept too long, and I fear it might already be noon. I turn over and swing my legs to the floor. I sit up and look at the clock. The clock reads exactly 2:00 PM. Oh my God.

I get up and promptly plop into my recliner chair. I turn on the TV and spend an hour watching toob: The Closer. By the time it ends the time is 3 PM. The day is sunny and the temperature is 50° F, so I go for a walk around the ‘hood. I get home shortly after 3:30 PM.

I decide this is a good time to burn out the wick in my kerosene heater. I remove the fuel tank and turn the wick up to maximum height. I light the wick and shut the door on the heater. It’s going to make fumes, but they will go outside.

Soon after, I start preparing my dinner. For tonight I decide to make a stir-fry. I slice DSCF1213green and red bell pepper, onion, and yellow squash. I add sliced mushrooms. I fire up my wok and add peanut oil, sesame oil, soy sauce, and dry sherry. I add diced garlic. I peel gingerroot and dice it and add it to the oil in the wok. I add cornstarch in water to thicken the liquid. After 5 minutes of stir-frying, I add cooked sirloin to the veggies and heat it.

I have no recipe and I “wing” everything. Nevertheless, dinner is quite tasty. DSCF1222A little salty perhaps; next time I’ll cut the soy sauce in half. I have enough prepared food for two meals. I’ll buy baby spinach and wilt it in the juice left over from cooking this meal.

The only downside is that preparing the ingredients, cooking, eating, and cleanup takes an hour and twenty minutes. That’s a lot of time just to feed myself one meal.

The kerosene heater wick has gone out, so I bring the heater inside and I add a full tank of fuel and wait an hour for the wick to soak up the fuel, and I light it.

I watch the evening news and then I go online to start the process of paying my 2010  taxes. First I go to TurboTax. I enter all my tax info, only to discover that the Free Edition can’t handle a 1099-B form. Abort.

I go to Online Tax Pros, a service I’ve used before, and again I enter my tax info. I can file my federal taxes, but I can’t file my state taxes. Abort.

Third time’s the charm: I find an online tax service that let’s me free-file federal and state tax forms. I enter my tax info. At last it’s done. I haven’t hit the “submit” button yet. I’ll wait a couple more weeks to be sure I get no more tax forms, and then I’ll come back and submit my tax return.

It’s getting late. I’ve had my get-to-sleep brandy. I’ll sign off now and go to bed. With any luck, I’ll get three or four hours of sleep.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Fiat

There’s a rapper that goes by the moniker P Diddy. His actual name is Sean Combs. His rapper name used to be Puff Daddy, or Puffy, but I guess he felt the need for something more hippy-dippy. When his son, Justin, turned 16, Diddy threw him a birthday party at one of New York’s trendiest clubs. Diddy also gave Justin some presents, including a $360,000 Mercedes Benz Maybach 57 and $10,000 cash to spend around town. That was a year ago. This year, Justin is 17 and made the high school honor roll. As a reward, Diddy gave Justin another car: the $390,000 limousine version of the same luxury vehicle. Diddy explained that his son would probably only use the limo for special occasions, such as a first date. The rest of the time he would drive the cheaper $360,000 Maybach. He would do this, Diddy said, because “like all my kids, he prefers the simpler things than the expensive things. Simple tastes.”

He said that with no suggestion of irony.

When questioned about the advisability of giving a teen such expensive gifts, Diddy said it was a racist question. "You don't ask white people what they buy their kids, and they buy 'em Porsches and convertible Bentleys, and it ain't no question.”

So true, P. My neighborhood is chock full of Porsches driven by teenagers. And I can’t cross the street without dodging pimped out Bentleys careening through the ‘hood. Often I will hear a neighbor exclaim, “Those damn kids and their Bentley’s!”

I recall my own first vehicle. I was seventeen with a hundred dollars burning a hole in my pocket, and I asked my dad to drive me to a few used car lots in Richmond so I could buy a car. Dad pointed out that a hundred dollars wouldn’t buy much of a car, but I was determined and so off we went to the big city.

We wound up at a small car lot on Broad Street. There was a small, green, somewhat odd-looking 1958 Fiat sedan on the lot with a posted price of $399. I test drove the car a few blocks up Broad Street. It didn’t have much pep starting out, but after it picked up a little speed it seemed to gain strength and accelerated harder. I wanted it.

Dad, always a haggler about price, offered the salesman $299. The salesman said, “You can have it for $299 if you take it today.” I paid the man my hundred dollars, and dad financed the remaining $199. He had to take out a loan because two hundred dollars was more money than he could lay hands on.

When I got the strange, little foreign-made car back home, my family wanted a trip around the block. So my mom, my dad, my brother, and I stuffed ourselves into the small car. I was parked behind my dad’s Buick, so I had to back up. The gearshift was on the column and looked like a standard 3-speed. I put the shift lever into what should have been reverse and as I gently let out the clutch, the Fiat nudged forward. I put the shift lever into neutral, then firmly into reverse again and slowly let out the clutch. And again, the Fiat nudged forward. Dad saw what was happening and asked me, “How did you back it out of the car lot?”

“I couldn’t find reverse,” I confessed, “so I just pushed in the clutch and let it roll backward into the street.”

Dad swore, “Damn! We just bought a car with no reverse!”

The owner’s manual was in the glove compartment, and a quick study revealed that the Fiat had a 4-speed gearbox. What I thought was reverse was actually first gear. What I had been using for first gear was really second gear, and that explained why it had no pep until it gained a little speed: I had been starting out in second gear from every red light.

The Fiat was a nice, small, go-anywhere car. It had 4 doors, and the front doors were “suicide doors” – hinged at the back. My elderly grandmother loved those doors because it made the car so easy to get in and out of.

I took it off-road to go fishing and dip-netting, and it was like driving a 4WD vehicle. It would go anywhere.

I have fond memories of that little Fiat. It took me to classes every day of my first year of college. I remember the night I sold it to a soldier stationed at nearby Fort Lee, and I remember watching him drive away with the little car. I recall thinking, “I’m going to miss that car.”

Seventeen year old Justin now owns two of the world’s most expensive luxury cars. I’m sure he’ll enjoy them. But I doubt he’ll drive them through meadows and down to a riverbank to go dip-netting, or haul bags of herring back home to clean and salt away into a 5 gallon crock. I doubt he’ll bounce his Mercedes away from the curb on a snowy street. He’ll never have to pull the generator off and disassemble it on his kitchen counter-top, nor will he gain the satisfaction of fixing it with his own hands and his own skills.

If Justin is fortunate, his $390,000 Mercedes may leave him with as many fond memories as my three hundred dollar Fiat left me with.


1958Fiat1100

<< 1958 Fiat 1100, like my first car, except my Fiat was green.
Note the location of the front door handle. The front doors were hinged at the rear. They were called “suicide doors”, a name derived from the possible consequence of opening the door at highway speed.