Ten Things Not Likely To Be Heard At Walmart

Collected from Twitter, here’s a list of things you’re not likely to hear spoken at Walmart. No judgment. I buy from Walmart, too.

Wow look at all the cashiers at all the checkout stands.
— ScorpioMarine™ (@ScorpioMarine)

"Hi, I work here. May I help you?"
— Ecklebob Chiselfritz (@RotNScoundrel)

It's ok, Mom. You're right. I don't need this toy. I'll put it back.
— Fadedessence (@Fadedessence)

I'll be five minutes. I know what I want and I know where it is.
— Ben (@superherofbmx)

That bathroom is just absolutely spotless!
— Charleigh Kristin (@ChrliHarmonSter)

I feel completely safe in this parking lot.
— Jessica Wilder (@JessicaNexus)

Where can I find the Tolstoy section?
— Laurie Crosswell (@lauriecrosswell)

They put the Christmas stuff out way too late.
— Aaron Weinbaum (@aaronsayswhat1)

I don't want this box of ice cream sandwiches, guess I'll respectfully place them back in the freezer section.
— Diealated (@Diealated)

So after I graduated from Harvard Law...
— Chris O'Brien (@bigdweeb)