Thursday, December 1, 2016

The Bovine Emission Limitation

Sometimes I encounter a news headline that makes me think, “I’m living in an Alternate Universe!”

For example, California recently passed legislation to regulate cow farts. You see, cow farts contain methane, and methane is a greenhouse gas, and releasing greenhouse gases increases global warming, and global warming is bad. Therefore, by airtight, geometric logic, there can be only one conclusion: cow farts must be stopped.

If you find this news to be bizarre and unlikely, go to your favorite search engine and search for California regulates cow farts. Here is a sampling of headlines:

From the U.K.’s Daily Record: Cow fart crackdown in California creates a stink as rebel farmers let rip.

From Ohio’s Country Journal: Hot air experts: California politicians legislate a cap (or cork?) on cow farts.

The Wall Street Journal talks about California’s Cow Police, while The Moderate Voice calls the cow police The Fart Patrol of California.

Wired asks How Can California Cut Methane Emissions if Cows Keep Cutting the Cheese?

That is an excellent question. Meanwhile, I wonder if I’ll be able to get back to my Universe.

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