Wednesday Morning Observations

Insomnia. It’s dark outside. I arise. I sit at the computer. What’s in the news at this time of the morning?

First headline: Demi Lovato selling home where she overdosed. Oh sure, blame the house. Look what you made me do, stupid house! You’re a bad house! I don’t want to live in you anymore.

The article says it’s a four bedroom, five bathroom house. Why is it rich people need to live in a house where they can be within 10 feet of a bathroom no matter where in the house they go? Do rich people have tiny bladders? Or is having a lot of bathrooms a peculiar sign of prestige?

“My house has 4 bathrooms.”

“You poor thing. Mine has 5 bathrooms. Next month I’m moving into a house with 6 bathrooms. I’m moving up.”

There should be a TV series: Lives of the Rich and Very Disturbed.

Second headline: Former 'ER' actress Vanessa Marquez fatally shot by police doing wellness check. What is there to say? Never call the police unless you want somebody shot. And that somebody might be you. Anyone who reads the news regularly should know this.

Third headline: 'Good Morning America' Star Lara Spencer's Wedding to Rick McVey Was Magical. Okay. But who the hell is Lara Spencer? Who the hell is Rick McVey? And what the hell is a ‘Good Morning America’? And why am I supposed to care?

Fourth headline: A quantum gate between atoms and photons may help in scaling up quantum computers. Huh? I mean, HUH?

Fifth headline: Dog apparently killed owner outside Md. home, police say.  Guess what kind of dog it was. Go ahead. Guess. It was one of those breeds that people are always calling sweet and gentle and loving and wouldn’t hurt a fly. Yeah, right. It was a pit bull.

Here’s the thing about pit bulls: they might be sweet and gentle and loving and docile and all the other nice words you can come up with for a pet. But IF they go rogue, which does happen very occasionally, they’re the breed that can kill you. Maybe a poodle is more likely to bite you than a pit bull—I really don’t know. But a poodle won’t kill you. I don’t have an agenda against pit bulls. They can make great pets. But buying a pit bull is like buying a loaded pistol. Treat it properly and you’ll be fine and have no regrets. Mishandle it and you might end up dead. As some people, to their regret, have discovered.