The Diet That Wasn’t

I went to my doctor last week and learned I was at my heaviest weight ever. The scales read 222, but that was fully dressed, with athletic shoes, and having eaten and drank that morning. My weight right out of bed is 212. But still! Two hundred twelve pounds is way more than I should weigh.

So I started a diet on Sunday. Made it to Monday. Made it to Tuesday. Made it to … nope, not Wednesday. That was the day I blew my diet all to hell by going to a Chinese restaurant and buying takeout – a serving of moo shu pork and a quart of pork fried rice. So good!! I ate the whole thing! I ate half of each as soon as I got home. I ate more at dinnertime. And I got up at 3 AM and ate the remainder. It was a bazillion calories but my stomach was so-o-o happy. And big.

The next day, all evidence of the crime was gone except for the pancakes that came with the moo shu pork. If you’ve never eaten moo shu pork, allow me to explain. Moo shu pork is a stir-fry dish but instead of being served over rice, it is rolled up in small, thin pancakes. Before being rolled into a pancake, a sauce comprised of hoisin sauce and a small amount of soy sauce is spread on the pancake. Then the moo shu pork is added and the pancake is rolled up.

I never use the pancakes that come with moo shu pork. It’s too messy, or maybe I just don’t know how to properly roll up a pancake. So the next day I’m left with the pancakes. They’re 8 inches square, white, and very thin. Here’s what I do with them.

I cut each pancake into quarters – little squares 4 inches per side. I grind flaxseed and put it into a bowl. I add honey and stir until I have a gooey mixture of honey and ground flaxseed. Then I spread some of the mix on a square of pancake, add another layer of pancake, spread more gooey mix on that, add another layer of pancake, and so on, until I run out of both pancake and gooey mix. Then I eat it. It’s quite good! It tasted a lot like baklava, although baklava has butter and cinnamon and vanilla extract in addition to nuts and honey.

Yup, my diet is blasted all to hell. I have to start over, and now I have even more weight to lose than when I began. Oy.