The Vegan Experiment

I weigh 40 to 50 pounds more than I would like to weigh. You wouldn’t know it by looking at me, because I carry my extra weight on the inside. But I know it’s there.

Yesterday I decided to go on a vegan diet (pronounced vee-gen), because I’ve read so much about how healthy it is, and how Bill Clinton is a vegan, and so many Hollywood celebrities tout its benefits. In case you don’t know, vegans eat a plant-based diet.

So for breakfast, I added almonds to my usual eggs and sausage. Almond nuts are plant-based, the very thing vegans eat. Now that I’m a vegan I plan to eat more almonds.

For lunch, I ate tuna salad on 100% whole wheat bread. 100%!  That has to be vegan. Whole wheat bread is mostly plant-based, plus whatever else they put in bread nowadays. I was going to read the list of ingredients in the bread, but the list was so long, and the print was so tiny, it made my eyes hurt.

For dinner, I ate stir-fry beef over rice. Rice!  Rice is a plant, and there were veggies in the beef stir-fry as well. I hope I’m not overdoing this vegan thing.

Still don’t think I’m a vegan? Well, get this: at some point during the day, I drank a glass of V8 juice. That’s 8 vegetables. 8!  I’m getting good at this vegan thing. It’s a lot easier than I thought it would be.

Also, I drank a glass of milk. Milk comes from cows and cows eat grass. The way I see it, milk is basically plant-based.

That was yesterday. This morning I weighed myself and was dismayed to see I haven’t lost any weight. I had such high hopes for the vegan diet, but now I see it’s just another over-hyped fad.

Now I have to decide which fad diet to try tomorrow. I hope that, whatever it is, it works better than this vegan thing.