Falcon Heavy Metal

Elon Musk’s rocket company, SpaceX (actual name: Space Exploration Technologies Corporation) rolled out their biggest rocket to date, which they call the Falcon Heavy, and shot one of Musk’s automobiles, a Tesla Roadster, into space. I know it sounds like a waste of a perfectly good automobile, but the car was built by another of Musk’s companies, so he can do whatever he wants with the car. Besides, it was a 2008 model Roadster, so it was due for the scrapyard anyway. And why put more junk in our Earth scrapyards when we can start a new scrapyard on Mars? But I digress.

The Roadster that was just shot into space is a convertible, and its top is down. A mannequin sits behind the steering wheel. The mannequin is wearing a spacesuit. I bet not one science fiction writer ever guessed that the world’s most powerful privately developed rocket would go into space on its maiden flight carrying a red sports car with a mannequin in a spacesuit as its payload. And if a science fiction writer had predicted it, that writer would have been ridiculed, and no doubt his/her editor would have returned the manuscript with a note advising the writer to “change the payload to something people will believe”.

I’m kidding, of course. Having a sports car in space with a space-suited driver behind the wheel is perfectly credible — at least since 1981. That was the year the animated movie Heavy Metal was released (the first one, not the sequel). The beginning of the movie features a 1959 Corvette popping out of a space shuttle in earth orbit, with a space-suited driver behind the wheel. The car descends through Earth’s atmosphere to a soft landing. The astronaut behind the wheel is shown to be just driving home from his job. You can view a short clip of that scene here.

SpaceX is working on an even bigger rocket which they have dubbed the BFR. They claim the letters stand for Big Falcon Rocket, but I think most of us know that the middle letter doesn’t stand for “Falcon”. There’s a tornado siren on a pole about 50 yards from my house. It’s loud as hell. I call it the BFS, which stands for Big F****** Siren, and I assure you the “F” does not stand for Falcon. The “F” stands for just what you think it stands for.

Anyway, congrats to Musk and his engineering team. I can’t wait to see what they shoot into space next. Maybe a ‘59 Corvette? That would be awesome.