Crowned

This is how a snowball gets bigger and bigger as it rolls down a hill.

Last week I developed a toothache during the night. When morning arrived I phoned my dentist and was able to see him the same day. He took x-rays, tapped on some teeth, and decided the problem was tooth #19. He said it needed an extraction or a root canal. I opted for a root canal because I’d like to keep as many of my teeth as possible. The dentist said that because of the nature of the tooth, he didn’t want to do the root canal. He said I needed a specialist. So his “people” made an appointment for me with an endodontist. The short visit with the dentist cost a mere $98.10—pretty much what I expected. I don’t think you can sneeze in a doctor’s office without paying a hundred or so dollars.

I went to the appointment with the endodontist. She was a very nice young Indian woman (why are so many doctors from India?) and I have nothing but nice things to say about her. She diagnosed (correctly) that the problem was tooth #18, the tooth adjacent to #19. After the root canal procedure, she told me to get a crown on the tooth “as soon as possible”. Her “people” spoke with my dentist’s “people” and I suddenly had an appointment just a few days away. Cost of the root canal: $1175.40.

Today I got a temporary crown on the tooth. I’ll get the permanent crown in eight days. Apparently it is made in California and then sent to Virginia by Pony Express—hence, the week delay. As I was leaving the dentist’s office I stopped to pay the bill for the crown: $1530.90.

So I started with a toothache and $2804.40 later I’m more or less exactly where I was before I got the toothache. That’s life.

But wait, it gets better. The dentist informed me that the tooth adjacent to the just-crowned tooth also needs a crown. And oh yeah, there’s a tooth on the other side of my mouth that needs a crown. Why don’t I just leave my wallet at the dentist’s office? He’s getting more use of it than I’m getting.