You’ve probably heard of the “lawyer defense”. For example, if a lawyer is accused of owning a dog that attacked and bit a passerby, the lawyer will claim innocence because of the following three reasons:
It couldn’t have been my dog … my dog is always on a leash.
It couldn’t have been my dog … my dog doesn’t bite.
It couldn’t have been my dog … I don’t own a dog.
I’ve been reading the news about the Costa Concordia, the cruise liner that ran aground and fell over, endangering thousands of lives and killing a yet-to-be-determined number of passengers. The captain has been mightily condemned for abandoning his sinking ship and leaving passengers to fend for themselves with no one in charge of evacuating the ship.
The captain, in his defense, seems to be employing the classic lawyer defense. First he explained that had not abandoned his post, he had simply been thrown overboard by the impact. When that excuse didn’t gain traction, the captain whipped out his backup excuse. He said he had tripped and fallen into a lifeboat and was unable to get back onto the ship. After all, it was dark.
I can already see the captain’s excuses stacking up:
I didn’t abandon my post … I was thrown off the ship.
I didn’t abandon my post … I tripped and fell into a lifeboat.
I didn’t abandon my post … I was vacationing in Spain at the time.
He’s at #2. If I’m right, his best excuse is yet to come.
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