Sundry Observations

I haven’t posted a blog in a while. Notice I didn’t say that I haven’t written a blog in a while. Oh, I’ve been writing, but my writing quality has not been up to the level of mediocrity that my readers expect, so my recent writing remains in a state of un-posted-ness.

I also have many blog posts that I started but didn’t finish. Sometimes what seems like a good idea just doesn’t go anywhere. So today I’m going to pull a few paragraphs out of some un-posted posts and stick them into this post. In other words, allow me to quote – me.

“You may have heard the term “asymmetrical warfare” and wondered what it means. It means we send an airplane that cost $80 million to purchase, and $24,000 an hour to fly, on a mission to drop a $40,000 smart bomb in order to destroy their used pickup truck worth $1500.”

“A recent piece of news on the Internet says that kangaroo farts are worse for global warming than climate scientists previously believed. Prior to this announcement, I did not know that computer climate models incorporated data on kangaroo farts. It begs the question: who collects data on kangaroo farts? And, is this an actual job that people are paid to do? And, eww…”

“In American politics, conservatives believe two things above all else: First, America is the greatest country in the world, and second, that we must elect a president who will make America great again. To which I say, what?”

“Did you know that there is a chemical in some foods called natural butter type flavor? The chemical is diacetyl, and prolonged exposure to its vapors can cause a serious, obstructive lung disease called bronchiolitis or popcorn lung, so-called because diacetyl is or was used in microwave popcorn. Ironically, it has been an ingredient in cigarette tobacco for fifty years. Seriously. I guess tobacco companies figure anyone who inhales cigarette smoke all day long, year after year, doesn’t really care about what a few extra chemicals might do to their lungs.”

“I think the most misleading place name is the Canary Islands, also known as the Canaries. When originally discovered, the islands were home to vast numbers of large dogs. Romans called the islands Canariae Insulae, Latin for “Islands of the Dogs.” They now belong to Spain; the Spanish call the islands Islas Canarias, Spanish for “Islands of the Dogs”. No actual canaries were involved in the naming.”

“How is this possible? I go to the hardware store and buy 6 bolts, 6 nuts, 6 flat washers, and 6 lock washers for a home repair project. The clerk puts them into a plastic bag and I go home. At home, I open the bag and there are 6 bolts, 6 nuts, 5 flat washers, and 4 lock washers. Where did the rest go?”

“At the grocery store, I buy a frozen meat loaf with mashed potatoes entrée.  The picture on the box shows a delicious-looking meatloaf glazed with ketchup and gravy and accompanied by fluffy mashed potatoes. What actually comes out of the microwave is soupy mashed potatoes and a couple of little brown dominos without spots. There is no hint of ketchup.”

That’s enough copying-and-pasting-and-editing for one day. Now I have some posts in my Drafts folder that I can delete. Sayonara, and may your weekend be blissful.