Gnat Nuisance

It’s mid-summer and I’m fighting the usual summertime battle with the no-see’ums that get into my house. At least, I think they’re called no-see’ums. Notwithstanding the name, you actually can see them if the lighting is right, but they’re tiny and I believe they could pass through an ordinary window screen. I once had a camper van and the manufacturer bragged that their window screens were impervious to no-see’ums, so ordinary screens won’t stop them.

No-see’ums bite, and these critters don’t seem to bite, so either they’re not no-see’ums or they meet their ends before they grow to the biting stage. I considered they might be fruit flies, but they’re smaller than fruit flies. They’re about 1 – 2 mm long. I considered they might be drain flies, but they’re smaller than drain flies, too. Plus, they don’t look like the pictures I’ve seen of fruit flies or drain flies.

Whatever they are, I call ‘em gnats and they’re a nuisance that I don’t need. They’re attracted to my kitchen garbage can. My kitchen can has a lid and I keep it closed, but the gnats find a way in. The garbage can isn’t hermetically sealed, after all, and any tiny crack between the can and lid that allows air (and odor) inside the can to leak out is all the gnats require for their miniscule noses to home in on the garbage. There, apparently, they reproduce. One day I open the lid and hundreds of gnats fly out. Okay, dozens. Whatever. All I can tell you is, it’s a lot of gnats.

I don’t know how other people kill these things, but I use a vacuum cleaner. When they light upon my kitchen cabinets, I switch on the vacuum and suck them up using the wand. They seem to be drawn to my oak veneer kitchen cabinets. Sometimes they light upon my kitchen’s white walls. Since they’re dark in color, they stand out pretty well, and they get suctioned up. Yesterday after lunch, I suctioned 25 of them into the next world, and after dinner I got another 40. It’s time consuming, though. I might spend a half hour killing a single flock of the critters.

Stores sell fly strips, so why not sell gnat strips? There are various home remedies, of course, which focus mainly on preventing them rather than eradicating them. I guess I’ll keep the vacuum cleaner near the kitchen and plugged in, ready to go at a moment’s notice. The battle isn’t quite a stalemate. The gnats are definitely on the losing side. Some people get their thrill by shooting a deer or a bird. I suction tiny black gnats out of the air. Basically, it’s the same thing.