More Headlines

Headline: Chinese Scientist Who Created CRISPR Babies Could Face the Death Penalty.

CRISPR is a technology that involves gene-editing. At worst case, it might be unethical to modify the DNA of a yet-to-be-born baby. But the death penalty seems overly harsh. “Okay, Mister Scientist, you removed the DNA from this baby that was going to cause cystic fibrosis and an early death. For that, we’re going to kill you.” It’s harsh but it does sound like something that could happen in China. And only in China.

Headline: China lunar probe sheds light on the 'dark' side of the moon.

First, the moon doesn’t have a ‘dark’ side. It has a far side. All parts of the moon get sunlight at some point during the month, just as all parts of the earth get sunlight. Does the earth have a dark side?

Second, China put a toy on the moon. What person who is not paranoid is worried about this toy? I read a headline that stated China is going to “explore” the far side of the moon with this toy. Sure, if you call rolling about 100 yards on the moon “exploring” the moon. And if this toy fell into a crater loaded with gold nuggets, it couldn’t bring any of them back to earth. Let’s not create a space race out of nothing.

Headline: The Milky Way Will Collide With Another Galaxy and It’s Going to Look Awesome.

Who writes these articles? Billions of years from now, something is going to happen that, if you were around, which you assuredly won’t be, would look awesome. Maybe. If the Milky Way collided with another galaxy tomorrow, how would you know? You’d hear about it on the evening news. End of story.

Headline: Let's Make Tomatoes Spicy With Genetic Engineering, Scientists Proclaim

A lot of people are opposed to genetic engineering, but if there is just one time that it will be used, I want it to be used to make tomatoes taste like tomatoes again. Are any of my readers old enough to remember how tomatoes tasted back when they still had taste? Scientists have identified 19 chemicals that have been bred out of tomatoes. Not intentionally, of course. Losing taste was a side effect of selective breeding intended to make tomatoes that would withstand the rigors of shipping, that would all ripen at the same time for harvesting, and other traits that growers favored. But the result is the tasteless fruit (yes, tomato is a fruit) that we have today.

Headline: The 2019 'Super Blood Wolf Moon' Total Lunar Eclipse, What It Means And How It Affects You

Super Blood Wolf Moon? Blood. Wolf. Moon. Is someone trying to give us all nightmares? I’m going to pretend I didn’t read that headline.

And my favorite headline today: Astronaut Accidentally Dials 911 from the International Space Station

“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

“Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

“What is your location, sir?”

“Two hundred fifty miles straight up.”

It’s nice to know that even an astronaut can be a doofus. It’s also a little unsettling. Isn’t somebody supposed to screen these people?