Friday, January 24, 2020

Sorry Ladies

I’m starting to get a complex. Every day I read about high-profile and powerful men being accused of sexual harassment by various women. Donald Trump bragged about abusing women and look what happened: the public elected him president. I’m beginning to feel that sexual harassment is normal behavior for men and there must be something wrong with me because I’m averse to doing it.

I don’t know why I don’t harass women. I wasn’t taught to not do it. When I was growing up, it wasn’t even a thing. Despite a seriously screwed-up home environment, no one mentioned sexual harassment. I had to learn about it through hundreds of women in the news. And that has only been in recent years. So for decades of my life, I was avoiding a behavior that other men were practicing seemingly everywhere—in the business world, in the Hollywood world, in the academic world, in the athletic world, just … everywhere. No one told me to get busy, to begin being aggressively obnoxious around women, and all those other manly responsibilities that men routinely engaged in for all those years. I knew nothing about it.

I apologize to all the women I’ve known for not pinning you against the wall and running my hand up the back of your skirt. I really didn’t know it was a thing that men were supposed to do. Stupid me, I seriously thought that a part of being a real man was respecting women and even, if necessary, protecting them. I feel stupid for being so clueless. But after reading all these accounts in the news—and new stories still seem to pop up daily—my eyes have been opened. Old habits are hard to break and I’ll probably never be able to sexually harass women properly. It’s just not me. I can’t even do a decent wolf-whistle or catcall, much less make persistent unwanted sexual advances. But don’t worry ladies, apparently there is no shortage of men available and willing to harass you, even if it’s too late for me to do it.

Big sigh.

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