(continued from previous Durward and Charles episodes)
If Charles had a weakness—other than liquor, drugs, women, money, temper, and the tendency to immediately act out whatever impulse came into his head—it was his lower back. Charles had what is commonly called a bad back. His brother Durward had a bad back, and for a long time Durward wore a back brace. I inherited Durward’s bad back, and for a time I wore a back brace, too. I underwent chiropractic treatment. I underwent Rolfing. There was a year and a half period during which I couldn’t stand up straight, causing me to stand and walk bent over. There was a two to three week period (after a chiropractor hurt my back) during which I could not get out of bed. If I tried, the pain was extreme. I could not even crawl to the bathroom. Literally, I was bed-bound. When I recovered, I considered back surgery, but after discussions with my doctor and people who had undergone the surgery, and after viewing graphics of the procedure, and after considering the fact that back surgery was “iffy” and might or might not help, I decided against it. All this is to say, I know how painful and debilitating back pain can be.
Durward and Charles were football fans. Durward’s favorite team was the Washington Redskins, because it was the team closest to where we lived. I don’t know if Charles had a favorite team. I think he simply liked the sport because it was violent. One time Charles traveled from Florida to Virginia to visit Durward and they went to a Redskins game. During pre-game activities, players threw out footballs to their fans in the stands. The footballs were somewhat smaller than regulation size, white, and autographed by members of the team. Charles caught one and gave it to Durward, who gave it to my brother, who put it on his chest of drawers where it sat for years.
So it was natural that, on another visit, the two brothers went to watch a high school football game in Richmond. Charles’ back was acting up, so he was in pain and couldn’t stand up straight. During the game, Durward and Charles were standing on the sideline. They were among a large number of people watching from the sideline. As they watched the game, a police officer came past, shoving people away from the sideline with the admonishment, “Get back! Step back! Get back…!” When he got to Charles, he tried to push Charles backward but with little effect. Charles didn’t move. Durward told the cop, “Be careful, he has a bad back.”
The cop looked at the two men and said, “Couple of wise guys, huh?” He walked behind Charles, put his knee against Charles lower back, grabbed Charles by the shoulders, and yanked Charles’ shoulders back to an upright posture.
Charles experienced a momentary, agonizing pain in his back. After that, the pain disappeared and he was left standing straight. The cop’s action had cured Charles’ back pain. During the rest of his visit, Charles had no problems with his back.
And now a warning: If you, my reader, know someone suffering from back pain, please do not try this “cure” on them. It might help them, or it might make their back pain much worse. It might make them bedridden for weeks. That’s what happened to me when a chiropractor examined me. While testing my legs’ range of motion, he suddenly raised my right leg, which caused me to have a searing pain in my lower back that landed me in bed and required weeks of recovery. The back is a tricky thing.
Even when Charles wasn’t making trouble, trouble found him. Chalk it up to karma. And now, I’m going to try to stand up. You see, this is one of those days when my back is acting up.
Again.
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