Secret Blogger

I went to Walmart yesterday morning. I bought some items I needed, but soon the store began getting crowded, so I paid for my purchases and I went home. I stood in the register line about 15 or 20 minutes before I got to the register. The checkout registers were severely understaffed.

I returned to Walmart this morning to pick up a few items I didn't buy yesterday. I needed two coin cells for my Jeep's key fob. Coin cells are sold in the watch department. That department sells cheap watches, earrings, and other adornments. They sell coin cells for the watches. But there was no one in the watch department. There was no sales clerk. I wandered around for a few minutes, vainly hoping that a clerk would see me and come help me, but it was to no avail. They keep the coin cells locked up. I imagine they are a shoplifting magnet because they're a tad pricey.

I gave up on the coin cells and went looking for the men's wear department. I wanted to buy new jeans. I found the ladies' wear department with no problem. It was huge. I had trouble finding the smaller men's wear department, but I finally found it. I wanted to buy Wrangler jeans, but they didn't have my size. I ended up buying Rustler jeans, but my experience is Rustler is a little smaller than Wrangler for the same "stated size" on the tag. So I went to the fitting rooms to try on the pants, but the fitting rooms were "temporarily closed." 

So I wandered here and there in the store, picking up items I needed — when I could find them. With the help of a store clerk, I located the Swiffer pads.  If you're not familiar with Swiffer pads, they are pieces of fluffy paper that attach to a special mop head made by a company called Swiffer. There are lots of different Swiffer pads, too numerous to mention here, but check out this Walmart page, or just go to the Walmart website and search for "Swiffer pads." I wish I was selling Swiffer pads. The box I bought contained 52 sheets of fluffy paper for $11.97 plus tax.  

I went to the self-checkout and paid. I left the store and went straight to where I parked. I remembered where I parked because across the aisle from my parking space was an orange sign with the number 7 painted on it in white. It was a reserved parking spot for people who order online and go to the store to pick up their order. The sign was easy to find, but my Jeep was nowhere in sight. I wandered up and down the aisle looking for my Jeep but it wasn't there. I thought, "Who would steal a 26 year old Jeep?"

Finally, my brain clicked into gear and I recalled that the parking spot I remembered was where I parked yesterday morning. That triggered a memory of where I parked this morning, and I went straight to my Jeep. I drove home and put my groceries away. I tried on the Rustler jeans. They were too tight, even though I bought the same size I always wear. Size means little unless you buy the same brand. On the other hand, I have a pair of Wrangler jeans hanging over my bedroom door and their waist is five inches smaller than the size stated on the label. I measured the waist from button to buttonhole with a tape measure and yep, the waist is five inches too small. I've had them too long and don't have the receipt. Mental note: take 'em to Goodwill. 

I used to get exercise by walking around the neighborhood, but after a few hundred trips, that got to be very boring, so I quit getting exercise that way. I think my new exercise plan is a daily walk around the inside of the behemoth Walmart store while pushing a grocery cart. Walmart Security may wonder, who is this guy who comes in every day and pushes a cart around the store for an hour and leaves without buying anything? What's he up to? 

Some stores have a "secret shopper." Maybe I can be the local Walmart's secret blogger.