Tis The Season

Day One: 

I was walking the aisles of the grocery section of Wally World, when I saw a sign advertising "homeless chickens."

"Wow," I thought, "homeless chickens! That sounds so sad. And now they're just waiting to be bought and taken to someone's home, only to be killed and eaten. From homeless to dead."

Then I got closer to the sign and I saw that it said, "boneless chickens." Oh. Well, that's entirely different. Same dead chickens, but now I need an eye exam.

Day Two:

I submitted a refill request to the Walmart pharmacy. After four days passed, I called the pharmacy and asked where was my prescription. They told me that a request had been sent to my doctor but they had not received a response. So I called my doctor. A nice young lady answered the phone. I described the situation and asked, "Why haven't you responded to the pharmacy with a refill order?"

Her answer was, "Our system has been down for five weeks."

Five weeks?! An essential medical system on which hundreds of patients depend can go down for five weeks with no one able to fix it? Am I in Burundi or the USA? I was not happy. But I got my refill the next day.

Day Three:

I found myself hanging drapes with Nuria. We got the windows of the great room at the front of the house decorated with new drapes. We got the windows in two bedrooms upstairs decorated with new drapes. It was a joint operation with Nuria. She found the drapes and used needle and thread or some similar magic to make them the correct length. I hung them on curtain rods.

Day Four:

I found myself stringing Christmas decorations with Nuria. We've got decorations outside and inside. Some of them have lighted bulbs. Some of the lighted bulbs blink on and off. My house looks more Christmas-y than it has looked in twenty years.

Day Five:

The water bill came in the mail. It's 30% higher than it has been. Partly, that's because Nuria has been living with me for a few weeks. And partly it's because the damn toilet runs constantly and it's getting worse. So I have to (a) replace the mechanism inside the toilet tank—the float valve and the flapper valve—or (b) replace the entire toilet, the bowl and tank. I haven't decided what to do about this. It's just one of those decisions hanging over my head.

And I need to buy presents for Nuria and I don't know what women of her age (a grandmother) would like to have. I've always hated buying gifts because it's always a struggle to divine what's in the head of another person. Nuria says I don't need to get her anything, but of course I know deep down she's hoping to get a few gifts. But what? What? If anyone has any ideas, please put them in the comments. And, thanks.