Monday Morning 3 AM

I went to bed early Sunday night. I had watched the Wild Card Playoff games, which were mildly entertaining, although I didn’t have a favorite team in the games. After that there was nothing on TV I wanted to watch. Around 9 or 10 I called it a night.

As always, I awakened in darkness needing to pee, but getting out of bed was too much trouble. After mentally balancing the pressure in my bladder against my desire to stay in bed, to not drag myself upright, turn on the bedside lamp, and trudge to the bathroom, my laziness won out. I decided to remain in bed, hoping I would get back to sleep, even though in the back of my mind I knew the attempt would be futile. Once I awaken, I never get back to sleep. Eventually I decided enough is enough. I threw back the cover and got out of bed. I checked the clock: 3:30 AM. I trudged to the bathroom, finally, for my early morning micturation. Didn’t see that coming, did you?

Sitting at my computer in my dark house, I check the outside temperature. It is 66°. That’s high for December, especially since the low tonight is supposed to be 8°. That’s 8° Fahrenheit, not Celsius. Tomorrow’s high will be 20° F. For a while I answered email and then began this blog post at 4:30 AM. (What else does one do at 4:30 AM?) As I write, it is pouring rain. A weather front is passing through town. No doubt, it is a cold front, chilling the air and condensing the moisture it holds. But the cold front must be far up in the sky. There is certainly no cold front down here on the ground. Not yet, anyway.

A friend signed onto Skype at 4:50 AM and we exchanged banalities for a while. Then we each began our usual morning news-reading, web-surfing, time-wasting activities. What else can one do at 4:50 AM?

It’s 7:15 AM – the day is beginning to lighten. I open the blinds so I can see outside. It’s still too dark for the world to illuminate my room. The screen of my LCD monitor casts a blue-tinted light into my surroundings. My cable modem blinks one red LED while green and blue LEDs on it are lit solid. What does that mean? My router shows several green LEDs and a blue LED, all lit solid. What does that mean? My magicjack alternately blinks red and green LEDs while a blue LED is lit solid. What does that mean?

I’m beginning to long for the day when our technological wonders can speak to us – the day when we will be able to converse with them.

“Good morning, cable modem. Good morning, router. How are we today?”

“Good morning, VirtualWayne. We’re fine. We’ll let you know if we have a problem we can’t fix on our own.”

“Thanks, guys.”

What do you think – five years? Ten? Because it’s going to happen. There are too many of us fiddling with our technology, too many of us who can’t set the clocks on our kitchen gadgets, for that technology to not be just around the corner. Even if, at first, they can’t converse with us, they’ll be sending us emails. And maybe even Skyping with us.

“Hey, TV, is there anything good on right now?”

“Nothing you’d like, VirtualWayne.”

“Ok, you know me best. I’ll take your word for it.”

“No problem, VirtualWayne.”

It’s 8:00 AM. My computer tells me the outside temperature has cooled to 55° since I arose. There’s nothing more to say. I’m going to click the Publish button now, and let my computer handle the business of getting all these words sent to the right place on the Internet. I don’t know how it works, except my computer talks to another computer somewhere in CyberSpace. As far as I can determine, the rest is magic.