Breakfast

I had an appointment this morning with the lab to get blood work done. The lady hit the vein on the second or third jab. I counted myself lucky. Sometimes they keep jabbing until I tell them to stop and use the other arm.

“Stop!” I plead with them. “I’ll confess. Bring the documents. I’ll sign them.” But that only elicits a chortle of glee. “Bwa-hahaha!” I hear them laugh as they continue to twist the needle and jab again and again.

When I left the lab, I had a strong craving for a Mickey D’s sausage biscuit. There’s a Mickey D’s just a couple blocks up my street and I almost swung by it and got that sausage biscuit. A sausage biscuit and a cup of coffee seemed like it would hit the spot.

But then I told myself don’t do it. It’s not healthy. It’s not a proper breakfast with lots of nutrition. Go home and eat something healthy. And so I did.

When I got home I ate a candy bar (chocolate and peanut butter), a milkshake (french vanilla), and two servings of ice cream (cookie’s ‘n’ cream). Now that’s a proper breakfast.

No? Okay then, maybe it falls a little short on nutrition, but I made up for it at lunch. I prepared a large plate of french fries, hosed them with ketchup and plenty of salt, and ate them all. Nobody can tell me that is not a healthy meal. It has all four of the important food groups: fat, sodium, carbohydrate, and unpronounceable chemical additives.

Ooh, my stomach feels a wee bit queasy. Maybe I should have eaten that sausage biscuit after all. Who would have thought that eating healthy food would upset the stomach?