Shrinkage

I remember when one roll of toilet paper was one roll. Then the rolls got smaller on the outside and the cardboard cylinders they’re wound on got bigger. Finally a roll of toilet paper got so small it was ridiculous. So the companies that made toilet paper returned to making the original size roll but they called it a double roll. But it’s not a double roll, it’s just a standard size roll of paper. It’s the price that is double. No doubt the double rolls will get smaller and one day there will be a triple roll, or maybe a quadruple roll, depending on how far the paper companies want to stretch this fantasy that they’re selling multiple rolls of toilet paper wound on one cardboard cylinder.

I remember when a can of veggies was 16 ounces. Then the cans went to 15 ounces. Now the cans are 14.5 ounces. I wonder if the canning companies are in cahoots with the recipe-book publishers. What will you do when the recipe calls for a 16 ounce can of tomatoes and the only can you can buy is 12 ounces? You buy two cans and a new recipe book.

Not long ago a can of tuna fish was 6 ounces. Then one day all the cans of tuna fish became 5 ounces. Some companies went to 4.5 ounce cans. Today I bought a can of tuna and as I was putting it in the cupboard I noticed I could shake the can and feel the tuna shifting around inside the can. I looked at the label and saw that the net weight was 4 ounces. I expect that before long the net weight will go to 3 ounces, and shortly thereafter the companies that make the cans will go back to making 6 ounce cans and label them “double-size”. But we will all know it’s not a double size can of tuna; it’s a standard size can that sells for twice the price.

A quart of milk is still 32 ounces. There are no 29 ounce quarts in the stores, yet. At least, I haven’t seen any. But I bet someone in a dairy somewhere is designing one. And when they do, I bet they’ll tell you that you will get more milk for your money if you buy their new 59 ounce half-gallon.