Brave New Future

There’s a ruckus brewing in the land, as ruckuses are sometimes wont to do. U.S. border patrol agents are separating undocumented children from their undocumented parents and sending the parents to jail. The children go to exotic playground resorts with fancy names like “Tent City” and “Casa Padre” (formerly known as Walmart). Donald Trump says he has to do this because of Democrats. I wanted to get to the truth, so I interviewed a top government official for my blog. He insisted on remaining anonymous, so I will refer to him as “Mr. T”.

Me: “Mr. T, you’re the most powerful man in government. Can’t you end this separation policy and allow these families to stay together?”

Mr. T: “I’d like to but I can’t. My hands are tied. Blame the Democrats.”

Me: “But Mr. T, both houses of Congress and the White House are controlled by Republicans. What do Democrats have to do with it?”

Mr. T: “That shows just how clever these Democrats really are. They’re the minority party and yet they control everything.”

Me: “The U.S. attorney general quoted from the Bible and implied that God approves of separating children from their parents. Do you really think that breaking up families who are trying to escape violence and poverty is moral?”

Mr. T: “What does morality have to do with government policy?”

Me: “Good point. I guess there’s only one way to keep these families together. We must charge the children with crimes so they can go to immigration jail with their parents.

Mr. T: “We can’t do that. If it becomes known that these kids are fed three meals a day, they’ll all want to come here. Besides, we don’t know if those kids are really kids. They could be midgets. Terrorist midgets. We have to check that out.”

Me: “I think you mean little people.”

Mr. T: The term little people is offensive. They’re midgets. Sometimes you bloggers are completely insensitive.”

And so we push onward into a brave new future wherein we sometimes have to attack another country even though we don’t want to, and sometimes we have to use “enhanced interrogation” even though we don’t want to, and sometimes we have to break apart parents and children even though we don’t want to do that, either. Sorry, a little whiff of nostalgia just hit me. Our country hasn’t taken a wrong turn. It’s just “evolving” down a new and very different path.