I read an interesting article in the Charlotte Observer today. It said that humans have two brains. One is in your head and the other is in your butt. I’m not kidding. Read it here if you don’t believe it.
I’m sure some people won’t believe that humans have a brain in their butt, but I believe it. It makes sense. It explains a lot about human behavior. Some people are intelligent and thoughtful. Some people are assholes. It just depends on which brain is in control. Sometimes it’s the top brain, and sometimes it’s the butt brain.
No doubt we’ve all let our butt brain take over on occasion. Sometimes it seems there’s a tug of war going on—a struggle to determine which brain is going to win control. Have you ever been driving peacefully on the highway when some butt-wad cuts you off and makes you slam on your brakes to avoid an accident? You can respond in one of two ways. You can take a breath and utter a peaceful, “It’s okay, brother, have a good day.” Or you can let out a primal “Asshole!” and shoot them the middle finger. That’s when you know which brain is in control.
The article also states that scientists believe the butt brain is the older of the two brains. That means humans started out as assholes and evolved to our present condition of semi-assholes. One day we’ll be fully evolved humans. In the meantime, give others around you a little slack when they act like assholes. They can’t help it; their butt brain is in control. They’re still evolving.
The best thing each of us can do—especially when something upsetting happens to us—is to remember that we have two brains. Try not to let the butt brain take charge. It really doesn’t know what it’s doing.
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