I went back to the Lion. I was there to buy Xiao Long Bao soup dumplings. At the entrance, a very young lady with a very bored expression was cleaning shopping cart handles.
“Excuse me,” I said, “but can you tell me where the Xiao Long Bao dumplings might be found?
She looked confused. “What?”
“Okay,” I said, “Where are the generic dumplings?”
“What’s a dumpling?” she asked.
I studied her for a few seconds as my brain quickly computed all the various bifurcations this conversation could take, and then I replied.
“Listen,” I told her in a low voice, “If you lose your job, there will always be a stint waiting for you at Johnny Ramone's Tiki Hut. Just be careful, when you walk in, to not slip on the glitter.”
I wish her the best.
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