Lifestyle

My biorhythm is out of whack. And by biorhythm, I mean that thing that tells us when to sleep and when to wake up. And by us, I mean me.

I went to bed to get some sleep at 5:30AM today. I’m not a shift worker. I just developed a problem with being able to sleep at night. I used to cure it by drinking alcohol, but that began creating its own problems, so now I just don’t sleep at night. Problem solved.

This morning, as I just said but it bears repeating, I went to bed at 5:30AM. I went to sleep about 6:30AM, by which time the sun was beginning to rise. Not exactly dawn, but maybe it’s what people call false dawn. I went to sleep and woke up at 7:30AM, so I got a solid hour of sleep. I got out of bed at 8AM and ate breakfast: two chili dogs.

I didn’t eat lunch until 2PM. For lunch I ate two more chili dogs. I use store-bought chili because convenience is my raison d'être. When I bought the wieners, I also bought a can of chili. Usually, I buy hot dog chili, but the store only had the Texas Tailgate brand, which I tried once and didn’t care for the taste. To each his own. So I bought a can of generic store-brand chili. The can’s label declared, “chili no beans.” It wasn’t hot dog chili, it was just chili like you might put on a baked potato. But when I opened the can, guess what was in the chili. Beans.

I know what you're thinking. You’re thinking if the can says “no beans” then it can’t have beans in it, because companies don’t lie or make mistakes. Sure. But in my version of reality … never mind, it doesn’t bother me at all. It was only a preference, not a got-to-have. Besides, with all the spices I can’t really taste the beans. And technically, I’m not sure real chili even has beans in the recipe. Nor meat. Chili with ground beef is called chili con carne—chili with meat. Isn’t it?

Anyway, I liked the chili with no beans; it made good chili dogs. I put diced onion on top of the chili. Chili dogs have to have diced onion on them. I’ll leave heating instructions to my readers’ imaginations and a little trial-and-error. I could easily tell you how to heat up a hot dog wiener in a microwave oven, but it’s a secret passed down in my family for generations and I promised to never reveal it.

I was talking with a friend yesterday and we both have our issues with house-cleaning. She gets run down from taking full-time care of a grandson with disabilities, and I’m just lazy. I’m not lazy when I do things I enjoy. I’ll spend hours writing software and it seems like ten minutes went by. Or designing a website. Or writing a blog post—when I have something to write about. But cleaning is a chore I can always put off until tomorrow. And then until the next day. And then the next. And the next.

Tonight, instead of watching YouTube videos or reruns of TV shows, I think I might wander the house zombie-like, picking up old mail and scratching my head and asking myself, “How did this happen?” Such is life.