If someone you know well, such as a daughter or a sister, isn't thriving; meaning, they aren't happy and so they aren't treating themselves well, and they're not eating properly, they're losing weight, they cry a lot, etc., would that make you sad? And what should you do?
If there is a God/Creator, I don't think He/She/It would intend us to be happy or unhappy based on the choices of people around us. Treat yourself well and try to help those persons you know who are unhappy, but do no let their unhappiness bring you unhappiness. Unhappiness is often the result of choices. You've heard people say, "I choose to be happy," or "She chooses to be unhappy." The person they're talking about may not understand it, but those around him/her can see how their poor choices are making them unhappy.
Perhaps you are the person who is unhappy. Even though you've made poor choices in the past, you can choose to be happy today. You can choose to do something nice for yourself. You can choose a different path for your life. Living your life the same way you have lived it until now obviously won't bring you happiness.
Choose to be in a good mood. Choose to offer a reasonable amount of advice and help to a friend or family member. But then choose to be happy. Your unhappy friend or family member may be going through a learning process. Help them if they ask for it. Be careful about taking on part of their burden. That can be an act of love, or it can be a trap. Remember that helping someone can prevent that person from growing. And who's to say that your help is the right thing to do? Maybe it hurts or prolongs the suffering of that other person.
Sometimes, I think the best help is a good therapist. Note that I said "good." There are plenty of bad therapists out there, and they charge the same amount and sometimes much more. But a good therapist can help a person see how they might be hurting themselves and how to get "unstuck" from the situation they're in. A good therapist can help a person see that the night is not as dark, their life is not as gloomy, as it seems at the moment.
2 comments:
Hello!
God gave us free wheel, however, as humans we make mistakes. Many times we think we did the right thing and it was wrong, and opposite.
For that reason we have to pay the price of our mistakes.
To help someone that is not your daughter or grandchild, is very different that to help someone that is a friend and doesn't have your blood. You put completely in the other person's shoes and feelings and it very difficult not to feel.
There souls stronger than others and that is when they have a situation, they are not able or willing to handle it and get depress, sad, cry, etc.
They even don't think they need help or they think that nobody can help them. Here is when their brains start thinking about kill themselves or kill others as a release or solution.
I have never had these kind of situations but I pray to God to give me the wisdom and strength to help that person.
Great post and I'm glad you mentioned this subject, very important in our days.
TA
Greetings
This is an excellent post about an incredible topic. I really like the way you can express this subject matter so perfectly --
I completely agree that sometimes it becomes a trap and you yourself "the helper" get caught in the trap. But that doesn't mean you wouldn't help any way possible --
I am beginning to think we are the ones who would help anyone -- and there are very few of us --either by not knowing what to do or not having the time to invest to help. Or they've already learned about the trap and are steering clear.
This is perfect dialog for a round table discussion. Your posts like this help everyone so please don't stop.
Best, Ll
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