Monday, February 28, 2011

March Comes In

“If March comes in like a lion, it will go out like a lamb.”

That’s how the old weather saying goes. (Coincidentally, March Comes In Like a Lion is also is an ongoing manga series by Chica Umino, best known for Honey and Clover. But that’s another subject.)

At the end of February there have been a lot of windy days here. My house has lost shingles. The wind has roared as March approaches. Today, the last day of February, the temperature in central Virginia was almost 80° F. Tomorrow the low will be 28° F. Roller-coaster.

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Again today, the wind is up and tornado alerts are in place. And thunderstorms with heavy rain are approaching. It looks like I’m about to get clobbered (radar map below).

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Guess where I’m located on the map above … just below that big blob of green, and it’s moving directly toward me. Ay Chihuahua! The beginning of March is definitely lion-ish.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

February Blackbirds

I looked out my window and my yard was filled with blackbirds. The bungalow across the street likewise had its yard filled with birds.

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They’re very skittish. I was lucky to get one photo shot through the window. When I moved to another window for a better angle, they saw my movement and took flight. They landed back in the yard a few minutes later, but as I approached a window (slowly) they again spotted me and again took flight. What you see in the photo is just a fraction of the flock. They looked like fat, well-fed birds. Small wonder that my yard seems only able to grow crabgrass, clover, and chickweed. By spring, all the grass seed has been eaten.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Royal Wedding

Did you receive your invitation to the Prince William – Kate Middleton wedding? Mine arrived in the mail yesterday. In addition to the invitation there was a little RSVP card and a small envelope for returning the card. My invitation looked like this:

invitation

In the bottom right corner there is this notation:

Dress: Uniform, Morning Coat, or Lounge Suit.

Unfortunately, I don’t own a uniform, I look ridiculous in a morning coat, and it has been years since I’ve been able to fit into my lounge suit. Do you think they would let me in wearing jeans? No? Not even if I wear True Religion jeans? Okay, I’ll just RSVP that I won’t be there. If you watch the wedding on TV and you see female guests with tears in their eyes – don’t blame me, blame the dress code.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Hole Thing

Once upon a time, there was one phone company in the U.S. It’s name was AT&T, which stood for American Telephone and Telegraph. Telegraph! You’ve seen films about the Old West: the telegraph operator going tap-tap-tap, tap-tap, tap tap on a telegraph key. That tells you how long AT&T has been around.

AT&T’s manufacturing arm was a company called Western Electric. If Western Electric had fingers they would have been in a lot of pies. One thing the company did was make telephones and telephone switching equipment for AT&T. Therefore, as you should be able to deduce, Western Electric made all the telephones used in the U.S. They made all the switching equipment. They didn’t buy parts to make equipment; they made the parts. They manufactured telephone cable – both the kind that hangs on telephone poles and the kind that lies on the bottom of the ocean connecting continents. They made transistors and integrated circuits. They made sound equipment for Hollywood movies. They made missile guidance systems. That’s where I worked for them: in their Defense Activities Division, or D-A-D as it was usually called. I was a young engineer with a new degree in electrical engineering, and all the engineers in my department were older than me; some were nearing retirement.

One day I was talking with one of the senior engineers. He wanted to give me career advice. He told me that the position I should aim for was senior staff engineer, which was the highest level an engineer could hope to achieve in the company. Then he told me about a senior staff engineer he knew.

Back in the day, telephones had dials: you’d stick your finger in a hole in the dial and spin it around. When you removed your finger from the dial, a spring returned the dial to its starting position, and as it did, the number you dialed went out over the phone line as a string of electrical pulses. What I was told was that there was a senior staff engineer whose job was to control the design of that hole. He specified its exact size and shape. It amazed me that a senior staff engineer would be in charge of the shape of a hole. But somebody had to be.

Years later, I worked for a tiny mobile robot company. We had two electrical engineers. One was the president of the company. The other was me. The president performed administrative tasks, but also a lot of technical tasks. He got involved with trouble-shooting equipment at customer sites and sometimes on the factory floor. He helped in marketing, in working with the government, in solving technical issues, in concept design and sometimes in nuts-and-bolts design. He worked with the money side of the business: getting investors, negotiating lines of credit, and so on. When it came to the electronics, that was my job. The president was more experienced with analog design than I, so sometimes he got involved with a tricky analog circuit, but usually he just explained what he wanted and I would go to my computer-aided design (CAD) system and enter a schematic and then lay out the printed circuit board (PCB). CAD was a great idea. Before CAD, our PCBs were laid out on Mylar sheets using drafting tape and an X-Acto knife. Those were the days! Let’s not go back to them.

My PCBs began with a schematic. A schematic is a symbolic representation of what you are going to make. On a schematic, real parts are represented by symbols, and they are connected by lines. The symbols and lines on a schematic are translated into a PCB with components connected by copper lines called traces. Here’s an example of what a printed circuit board looked like in my CAD system. This board has multiple layers which are connected at various points. It measures 4.4 x 12.95 inches (11.176 x 32.893 centimeters).

Printed Circuit Board

Let’s zoom in a bit. Here is the top left corner of the board.

Section of PCB

Let’s zoom in a bit more (below). The CAD program uses layers which can be turned on and off. Here’s what you are looking at: horizontal copper traces on the component side (top of the board) are red. Vertical copper traces on the solder side (bottom of the board) are cyan. The silk-screen layer is the pukey yellow-green color, don’t ask me to name it. Round, dark-blue circles are holes where components are inserted into the board.

Enlarged view of PCB section

Let’s zoom in one last time (below). There are nine layers in this CAD drawing. You are looking at (and through) 6 layers: silk screen, component side copper, internal power plane, internal ground plane, solder side copper, and solder mask. Most importantly, you’re looking at two components and their copper connections. One component, the rectangle, is an integrated circuit with 14 pins. It’s designated U25. The other component, C41, is a small capacitor with 2 pins. The square copper pad denotes pin 1 on the integrated circuit. Directly above the square pad is a round pad with a yellow “X” on it. The component pin that fits that hole will connect to an inner power plane layer. The “X” is where copper connects the pin to the internal plane; it’s called a “thermal-relief” pad. The slightly-smaller dark blue holes are called vias, and their purpose is to carry a circuit from one layer of the board to another layer.

Enlarged view of PCB section

If this seems complicated, believe me when I say I’ve barely scratched the surface.

Electronic design wasn’t my only job at that small company. At times I was required to travel to a symposium to give a presentation. When our Windows programmer left the company, the president took over his programming tasks, while I took over the tasks of keeping the computers working, keeping the network running, and keeping files on the server and workstations backed up. I created and maintained the company’s website as well as an internal website (called an intranet) for engineering documents. Electronics problems on the factory floor often required my attention as trouble-shooter. For a long time I was also Buyer for all the electronic components, and we used hundreds of different parts from scores of suppliers. There was documentation to be created and maintained: assembly instructions with drawings, engineering change notices, user manuals, and so on. Sometimes I coded assembly language for an on-board microprocessor – which might be a simple microcontroller, or a complex multiprotocol communications processor, or a programmable logic array. That is how it is when you’re an engineer at a tiny company. Everyone wears a lot of hats. It keeps things interesting.

Although it was a higher-paying job, I was really okay with not being in charge of the hole in the telephone dial.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Winter Photos

I hadn’t been to the city’s original small boat ramp in years, so I drove there to see how it looked now. Had it changed like the rest of the city? Part of the ramp area is closed off now, and it seemed tiny. There was no activity … not surprising in cold weather.  The nearby park was empty but for a few old men sitting in, or standing beside, their pickup trucks. They looked at me suspiciously as I drove past.

I wish I’d had my camera yesterday when I drove to the Walmart store. A flock of Canada geese lined both sides of the main entrance; dozens of geese stood pecking at the ground, eating the grass around the entrance. Those birds were big. A flock of Canada geese brought down the “miracle on the Hudson” plane. I thought about taking a cell phone photo, but my phone camera can’t zoom. They would have been itty-bitty birds in the photo. I wonder how long they’re going to be in town. Probably just long enough to rest their wings and fill their gizzards.

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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Sia

At 3 AM there’s not much to do except watch infomercials or listen to music. I can’t believe I’ve never posted a link to Sia’s beautiful and soulful love song, Breathe Me. How many times have I heard that song in a TV show! HBO’s Six Feet Under played it at the end of the series finale, as Claire Fisher drove down the highway to meet her future, and as the show looked ahead to see the future of each character. What a great way to end a TV series! (Speaking of Six Feet Under, over 22,000 IMDb voters have rated it 9.2 out of 10. That’s close to perfect.) The images in this video (embedded below) are not of Sia; they’re of Fiona Apple. I think Fiona has a waif-like vulnerability that fits well with this song. If you want to see Sia, watch the official video (after a short commercial). Frankly, I’ve never liked the official video. I’ve never even been able to watch the entire video. It’s seems frantic, as though it might have been conceived and directed by someone on meth. All the little Polaroids flying off-screen are just too distracting and make me feel disconnected from the artist. Another reason to watch the Sia/Fiona version: on-screen lyrics. And finally, I’ll mention this: someone put clips of Britney Spears into a video with Sia’s music on the sound track. I’m not a Britney fan but I think the clips work well with the words and tone of the music. If you are a Britney fan, you’ll like this video.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Someone Explain This

I’m taking the weekend off. Next post: Sunday night. Meanwhile, can someone explain this? Inquiring minds want to know.

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Door Girl

I went to the store for groceries this morning. I got what I wanted and headed to the checkout lanes. Three checkout girls were in a group discussing something. I overheard one girl say something about “girls were letting it all hang out.” One of the girls peeled away from the group and offered to check out my purchases. Her name tag read “Megan.” She looked young, but she had to be at least 18; she was at work instead of at school. She had long, brunette hair with a lot of curls and waves. I started talking with her.

“Girls were letting it all hang out? Where was that?” I asked.

“We were talking about my other job,” Megan said. “It’s at a strip club.”

“Are you a stripper?” I asked.

“Not yet,” she said.

“Working your way up to stripper?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“What do you do there?”

“I’m a door girl.”

One of the checkout girls asked her about the pay. It turns out a door girl makes fifty bucks a night plus tips.

“Do you get a cut of everyone’s tips?” I asked.

“Not unless I have to watch the lap dances.” Megan replied.

“Is this place you work in Richmond?” I asked.

“Yeah. Do you go to the strip clubs in Richmond?”

“No,” I answered. “I’ve been to a few elsewhere. San Francisco, Denver, L.A. But not here.” And I could have added: and not in a very long time.

For me, going to a strip club was something to do when my employer sent me across the country to a “big city”, especially if there were three or four guys traveling together. We would work a normal eight-hour shift and then … what? Go to a restaurant, go back to the hotel, watch a little TV, get bored … and go out on the town. And where do three or four males go when they’re in a new city and want to “go somewhere fun”? Hint: not to the museum.

I gave Megan a final glance and headed out the door. She was cute, but it seemed to me she was not quite stripper material. Except for the hair. The hair was excellent. But the rest of Megan was more, well … door girl. But don’t read that as a putdown of Megan. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not looking like a stripper.

Monday, February 7, 2011

SB XLV

How was it? So-so. Watched half of it. I mainly wanted to see the always over-the-top SB halftime show. This year Usher and Slash joined with the Black-Eyed Peas, or as I call them: Fergie and the guys.

Let me just say I’m not a fan of musicians wearing top hats – especially when said hat is covered with rhinestones, lit LEDs, or other kinds of sparklies. And dressing head to toe in white just makes some of us wonder if the Good Humor man has wandered onto the stage.

What’s up with singers and Autotune? Seriously. Was that an accident? Did we learn nothing from Milli Vanilli and Ashlee Simpson? Or has faking it become so widespread that it’s accepted? At least Fergie didn’t seem to be using it.

Thanks to technology, a good sound man can make a crappy band sound good, and a bad sound man can make a good band sound crappy. Give me a good sound man and I can fake it with the best of ‘em. Talent? That’s so old-school.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Super Sunday

It’s super bowl Sunday. If you’ve been good, the super bowl bunny will leave a present for you under your super bowl tree. No, that’s … uh, let me start over.

It’s super bowl Sunday. If you’ve been good, the super bowl fairy will leave a surprise for you under your pillow. Wait. That’s not … uh, let’s try this again.

It’s super bowl Sunday. You haven’t been good and you damn well know it. You get nothing. But guys: take your wife or girlfriend to a sports bar and buy her beer and nachos. I mean, buy yourself beer and nachos. Some bars will do a two-fer; buy one order of nachos for yourself and get a free order of nachos for your lady. In the restaurant trade they’re called “bonus nachos.” If you go to a Mexican restaurant today, impress the waiter by saying “¡Hombre! ¡Bonus nachos para mi amigo!”

Sorry … that was a long trip to get to an inside joke, but I had to do it.