Tiny Balls o’ Gunk

I am starting one of my annual autumn chores: cleaning the leaves and gunk out of the gutters on the garage. (By “gunk” I mean the black, moist, compost-like residue of rotted leaves and twigs.) I was going to do it tomorrow, but the weather forecast changed and we might get rain this evening, so at 3 PM I have decided to clean the gutters today while the leaves are still dry.

Usually I put a ladder at one end of a gutter, climb the ladder, scoop out leaves and gunk with a garden trowel, hammer any loose gutter nails, climb down, move the ladder a few feet, and repeat … repeat … repeat, until I get to the end of the gutter. Then I move the ladder to the other side of the garage and do the same procedure.

I start to do that today, but after about one minute of work I look at the long stretch of gutter brimming with leaves and I think, “There has to be a better way.” I drive to Home Depot and buy their cheapest leaf blower (about $30). It is rated at 150 mph, which seems strong enough to move a leaf. I drive home, rip open the box, hook up the blower to a long heavy-duty electric cord, climb the ladder, and wow! Why didn’t I do this a long time ago? I still have to climb up and down the ladder numerous times to hammer the gutter nails – they always loosen during the year – but wow, the blower moves a lot of leaves fast, and it moves a lot of the gunk, too. In fact, it showers me with tiny black balls of gunk, all over my shirt, my face, my hair, inside my shirt pocket, over the blower itself. The moist little balls of flying gunk stick to whatever they hit, and they hit everything within ten feet. But it is worth it too see all that crud coming out of the gutters. I still have to use the trowel on the heaviest gunk, but the job goes a lot faster.

Finally the job is finished. I put away the blower, put away the ladder, put away the electric cord, put away the trowel and the hammer, take off the gloves and put them away. Brush off my shirt. Close the garage, go into the house. Then I bathe, for the second time this day.