The New Year, As Usual

The Old Year is history, the New Year has arrived.

My cousin-in-law Betty reminded me that today’s date is 1-1-11. She said all those ones makes the day lucky. If that’s true, 1:11 PM was the right time to make a New Year’s wish.

The tornado siren just sounded off. They test it on the first day of every month. I call it the BFS because it’s really loud; if a tornado approaches it has to be loud enough to wake people from a sound sleep all over this part of town. The problem: it’s 150 feet from my house. I almost jump out of my chair every time they test it.

I have a little home repair project to do, for which I stopped by Home Depot earlier this week and purchased 6 bolts, 6 nuts, 6 flat washers, and 6 lock washers. I get started on the project and then discover that my little plastic Home Depot bag contains 6 bolts, 6 nuts, 5 flat washers, and 4 lock washers. What happened to the rest? I paid for six of each. I’ll make do with what I have.

Yesterday I ate lasagna for lunch. It was a frozen entrée I bought at Walmart. I’m clearing my desk of papers and here’s the receipt for those groceries. Glancing at my purchases, I notice I was charged twice for the lasagna. It happens. I’m surprised I don’t get charged twice for everything, the way those checkout people handle the items they’re scanning. The lasagna wasn’t good.

Today for lunch I heat and eat a meat loaf and mashed potato entrée. The picture on the box shows a delicious-looking meatloaf glazed with ketchup and gravy and accompanied by fluffy mashed potatoes. What comes out of the microwave oven is soupy potatoes and a couple of little brown dominos without spots. There is no hint of ketchup. The potatoes aren’t good. The meatloaf is edible.

Having food in my stomach makes me drowsy, and I lie on the sofa for a little while. I lie on my side facing the light blue sofa back and close my eyes. The blue fades to black. But I don’t go to sleep. I lie motionless for a long time and a strange thing happens. I begin to lose awareness of my location and my position. I know I’m lying on my sofa, but I’m barely aware of my arms, my legs … or my body. I feel like I’m floating in space. I’m barely aware of being in my own house or in which direction of the compass my head is pointing. I know this strange illusion will be broken as soon as I make a movement. Just moving my hand against the sofa will bring me back to reality. I move my hand and instantly I’m back.

It’s 63° F outside and cloudy; the weather service says a chance of rain. It’s a good time to take a walk. Happy New Year!