Home Depot

I had lunch at the Bee today. It was crowded, noisy, and I was in a blah mood. I ordered the usually good house salad, but today the bacon bits were so overcooked they were like little pieces of tooth-breaking gravel. Stephanie asked if I was doing anything this weekend, but she knew the answer before she asked. After a while I left and went to Home Depot. I needed a T8 Torx screwdriver.

Home Depot is a rich source of blog material. Entering the store, I was immediately accosted by employees attempting to assist me. There were a couple of older gentlemen at the tool aisle. They looked like typical tool guys, with their orange Home Depot aprons. They asked me what I needed and I told them “a Torx driver.” Bad move, as I was already over their heads.

“You want a what?”  Both men stared at me like I was a two-headed Martian who had just beamed into their store.

“A Torx driver. T-o-r-x,” I spelled it out.

“A what? A torque? You want a torque wrench?”

“No. Torx.  T-O-R-X.  A Torx driver.” They looked at each other and shrugged, completely mystified.

“It’s a screwdriver,” I explained, “and the driver end looks like a star. “It has six points. Like a six-pointed star. It’s called Torx. T-O-R-X. I need a T8 size.”

“I don’t think we have anything like that,” one of them said.

“Well, it’s on your website,” I said a little too loudly as I started walking down the tool aisle. I’d find the dang thing myself.

Just then a young fellow showed up and offered to help. He knew what a Torx driver was, and after a little while he located the exact tool I was looking for: a little screwdriver handle with 4 double-ended driver inserts for a total of 8 sizes. Made by Husky. Six bucks.

I showed it to one of the older tool guys and pointed to the word “Torx” on the package. I told him, “Next time somebody asks, you’ll know what they’re talking about.”

“Oh, that’s what it is,” he said. “I have some of those in my toolbox. I call ‘em star drivers.” The other tool guy agreed. Star driver.

Okay, call it a star driver. The screw head does look like a six-pointed star. But so does a Bristol screw head. So does a polydrive screw head. They all look like six-pointed stars but that doesn’t mean they are interchangeable; they’re not. Which is why you should try to use the correct name. Or at least know it.

By the way, I just checked the temperature on this second day of Fall in central Virginia. At 3:30 PM, it’s 100°; the heat index is 107°. I don’t know if the leaves will turn colors this year or if they’ll just ignite and go “poof” right off the tree. I’ll let you know.