Mail It In

Yesterday I received in the mail an application for an absentee ballot. The election officials want everyone to vote by mail, which makes sense in this season of Covid-19. Then this morning I saw on the news that there had been a slight bump in the road to voting. The application came with its own return envelope, and some of the envelopes had the wrong address; i.e., some of the applications will be mailed to the wrong registrar.

I feel relieved. If this simple job had been done without errors, it might have indicated that an outbreak of competence was spreading through government. That is worrisome. What if everyone in government starts doing their job correctly? What will happen if suddenly we have a government that works? Nobody knows, because it would be unprecedented. No, there must be a few screw-ups along the way. But the nice thing about working for the government is that if you screw up enough times, you get promoted. I read about a government worker that punched his boss in the face. Because of a plethora of regulations, they couldn’t fire him, so in order to get him out of that department they promoted him. Punch your boss; get a promotion. What a deal! And government asks why they have a less than stellar reputation.

Government needs a motto, and I have a suggestion. “Here’s a simple job. Let’s count the ways you can screw it up.”