I called my bank’s Customer Service number tonight. A robotic voice asked me a some questions, as one would expect. What is my social, what is my account number, etc. It tried to help me but, alas, my question was over its robotic head. So it told me it was going to connect me with a human who could help me. Then I got a new robotic voice. This, apparently, was the “real” Customer Service. It said Customer Service was closed and I should call back during the next business day. Sigh.
Then I decided I wanted to eat some 
turnip greens. Not that I particularly like turnip greens, but I was out of salad and I wanted some kind of greens to go with my supper of microwaved chicken nuggets with Buffalo sauce. The can of greens boasted a pull-ring to open the lid. I pulled the pull-ring and it broke off the can. Of course, because bad designs break.
I tried to open the can with a can-opener but the can had a strange lid design (probably to allow stacking) and the can-opener would not open it. So I held a screwdriver at the point on the lid that the pull-ring should have pierced, and I whacked the handle of the screwdriver with my other hand. Presto, I knocked the lid off the can. Next, I took a serving of greens out of the can, heated them in the microwave oven, dosed the greens with a shot of 
balsamic vinegar of Modena, and voilà: turnip greens that are fit to eat. I followed up the nuggets and turnip greens with a cinnamon hotdog bun. It’s just like cinnamon toast, except you use a … wait, do I really need to explain this? I think not.
This is my third article today, but I’ll wait until after midnight to post it. That will make it tomorrow’s article. At least, it will in some parts of the world, depending on which time zone you live in. For the rest of you, I will be publishing it yesterday, because tomorrow is today where I live.
2 comments:
I love your sense of humor --- I've had the same experience with the cans --poor design -- only the screwdriver I used didn't dent the can -- or maybe that's all it did do--- I never got it opened --I especially love the bag designs that are supposed to open the bag and then allow you to zip it closed again. I have to use a super shar knife since it's another poor design.
Keep up the good work.
L
Greetings
This post made me think -- it's just one of those days and the next one will be better. Those rings on pop tops used to work years ago and I guess some bean counter reduced the amount of rolls of the aluminum -- it's funny because I buy those pull top lids for convenience -- and boy that's the last thing they are. I can spend my entire dinner time trying to fight with the can ---
Glad at least you succeeded in opening the can.
My cable company has a new policy -- two calls and you're out. A service call answered by the robot says so nicely --you are such a valued customer --please wait -- then hangs up on on me.....second try --same thing -- third try a fast busy signal reminds you to call another day --
Value has a whole new meaning!
L
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