The Shrubbery Botheration

I was going to trim back the shrubs around my house this week, and last week, and the week before, but I made clever use of one excuse after another. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. It’s too sunny. It’s too rainy. I have to go to the grocery store. I have to mow the yard. I have to visit a friend. I have to pick up my medicines at the pharmacy. I have to take a nap. I have to do my laundry. I have to clean the bathtub. I have to chat with a friend on Skype. I have to chat with a friend on Zoom. I have to chat with a friend on WhatsApp. I have to write a post for my blog.

Now it’s 11 PM, and the shrubs are silently growing ever larger. I can’t trim them tomorrow because the forecast is for showers. I can’t trim them the day after tomorrow because the forecast is for showers. I could probably trim them this weekend; the forecast is for partly sunny. But my electric hedge trimmer runs on AC and it requires a very long heavy-duty extension cord which is a pain in the ass. The cord inevitably gets cut into two pieces and then I have to stop and splice it back together. Or it gets nicked and one of the wires gets cut but other two wires are intact so the cord doesn’t come apart. If I’m lucky, the safety ground wire gets cut and the trimmer keeps running. That has happened. Though now that I ponder it, I’m not sure if that is good luck or bad luck.

And if I buy a battery-powered hedge trimmer, which is what I want, what voltage should I get? 20-volt? 24-Volt? 40-volt? 60-volt? 80-Volt? I have a couple of Kobalt cordless tools and they have 40-volt lithium batteries. A 40-volt lithium battery alone costs $99. How much does an 80-volt lithium battery cost? Doesn’t matter; an 80-volt battery is overkill. The choice is between 20-volt and 40-volt.

Lowe’s has 54 different hedge trimmers, and Home Depot has 170 different hedge trimmers. By the time I review all these trimmers and make a decision, spring will probably be here. Oh wait, I have a solution! I’ll sell this house and buy a house without shrubs. Voila! The solution was staring me in the face all along.